Reunited with the father

They say life’s a bitch, and death? He comes like a thief in the night and takes those you love from you.

When Jesse first arrived

Yesterday we lost Jesse, at 3pm Els picked him from his bed to find she was holding a lifeless body, people had been in the room the whole time and heard nothing, he’d made no noise, there had been no fight. Jesse had been doing well, making so much progress he’d come so far we were sure he was going to be fine he’d gone from 780g to 1170g in just a week, i guess that goes to show how fragile life is, especially for premature babies. We don’t know what happened, and we never will it’s not like in the west there are no extensive checks, he was here, now his not that’s all we know.

They say death comes like a thief in the night and takes those you love from you, but I disagree.

Yesterday when I looked down on Jesse he was the perfect picture of peace, the corners of his mouth were almost curled upwards in an almost smile. Death is the most powerful expression of love the earth has seen; almost 2000 years ago Jesus gave his life to show how much he loves us, to give us eternal life and to give us the chance to live, with him, forever. Try telling me death isn’t beautiful.

We talk about someone being taken away, Jesse wasn’t ever ours to start with, we were his guardians, looking after him for his almighty father, and his father decided it was time to have him home, he wasn’t taken he was returned, he went to a better place. Does that mean it hurts any less, that I haven’t asked myself a million times why him, that I’m not angry or upset? No. I had to say goodbye to a beautiful baby boy, goodbyes are hard, I don’t understand why he had to go. But I know God’s plan is bigger than mine and he knows what he is doing. I will see Jesse again, and on that day when someone has to say goodbye to me, I’ll be safe, I’ll be home, I’ll be celebrating with him in paradise.

See how big he got!!

Death isn’t about pain or suffering, Jesse isn’t hurting anymore, he doesn’t have to be tired and exhausted after feeding, he doesn’t have to struggle for breath or fight to keep is warm. Jesse’s face told me he was in that place with no more pain, no more suffering, where no more tears will be shed; he’s where he belongs, with his father.

We mourn the lost, but we will not lose hope.

I wanna run on greener pastures,

I wanna dance on higher hills,

I wanna drink from sweeter waters in the misty morning chill

My soul is getting restless for the place where I belong,

I can’t wait to join the angels and sing my heaven song.

 I will not be afraid.

Rest in Peace Jesse, I love you, I miss you <3

Miracles and Medicine!!!

This past week I have been reminded that Amecet is a very special children’s home and we have the ability to care for children in extraordinary ways!!! Yes working with HIV positive children in Africa you expect illness and we’re often treating fevers and making trips to the clinic for malaria tests, however the house (well at least the medicine room) now looks more like a hospital than ever!!!



Evalyn trying to drink from a bottle
but she was to weak

I can’t even tell you how it all started the last week has become a bit of a blurr, so I guess well just start with the smallest! Amecet not only takes in HIV positive children but also babies who have lost their mothers, last saturday Els came bac from the hospital with the tiniest baby I had ever seen (at that point) Evalyn was born at 7months and was already 10days old, her mother has pre-eclampsia and so the birth was enduced to save the life of the mother, fortunately both mother and child survived the birth however the mother was paralysed down one side along with many other illnesses and was sitting in the ward on the floor, the baby being held by her 10 year old sister. Evalyn came into out incubator and I was fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time to learn how to feed her. She has a feeding tube that goes through her nose into her stomac and we push milk straight into her tummy by syringe, this quite simple task can go terribly wrong if the tube is in the lungs or you push the milk in too quickly so each staff member is being trained and until more people know how this is a time consuming job.

Putting a feeding tube into Eunice

Since I’ve been at Amecet babies have been like busses we have no new ones for a while and then they arrive in pairs, and this was no exception a  few days later our second prem baby of my stay arrived, Eunice, also born at 7months and 2 weeks old, her mother was in a coma and died just 2 days after Eunice came to us, Eunice started out well and was even able to suck from a bottle however this made her tired and she too went on a feeding tube, A few days later Eunice started having problems with her gut and went from one extreme to the other, currently her dihorrea is so bad she is dehydrated and is being fed ever hour milk or rehydration fluids. She was taken for an IV however after it taking almost 15 attempts to get it in and then only staying right for 45 minuets we had to give up on that for today, her veins are so so small that the IV isn’t taking, tomorrow maybe we’ll try something different and for tonight we’re praying she stays strong and keeps her fluids.

Jesse's first meal at Amecet

Eunice wasn’t the last arrival either, bus number 3 arrived Thursday, another premature baby, born at 6 months and a couple of weeks old, his single mother seemed ignorant to the severity of Jesse’s condition at only 20 years old she hadn’t been aware of the abnormality of how small and weak  he was. Jesse weighed only 780grams (1.7lbs) when he arrived and he was almost starved to death as he was too weak to drink. In 3 days with an IV and a feeding tube he made it to a Kilo, still very small but going in the right direction! I was given the challenge/privilege/scary job of feeding Jesse for the first time through the tube, my hands were literally shaking but he took the milk really well so all is good!!!!

It is amazing babies are alive, they are 3 liiving miracles and each day as they gain strenght all we can do is be thankful that God protceted them untill they came to us, and feel so blessed that we have the opportunity to help them!

All this drama is exciting, scary and sure does keep us busy feeding the premmys (or peanuts) is almost an ongoing job but they really are fighters!!! Still while all this is going on the rest of the house is not immue to sickness!!!
Today rather than taking the children to the doctor, the doctor came to Amecet (luckily the clinic is right next door, we eben have a connecting gate!!) Mary, Musa, Rose, Sarah, Norah and Levi have all come down with Malaria in the last 2 weeks, last Sunday we had 3 children on IVs because of the dehydration the Malaria had caused, Rose made the start of my night shift fun by vomiting up her dinner all over the living room for the second night in a row, she continued to throw up after meals and now has dihorrea. Musa is in a bad way right now, he vomited on me when we went for a Malaria test and I’ve had to clean up pooop galore from him the last 2 days! He has dehydration and is just so weak a boy that would polish off 200mls in a matter of mins only drinking 40 you know something isn’t right and after a few weeks of this and 2 treatments of malaria we’re worried about him, he doesn’t seem to be getting better we can only pray his new medicines work!

As well as the malaria’s baby Benna is also suffering, and has dihorrea and is lethargic and weak, Abai, Mary and Charles have all had fevers, pains, some of the girls have bad coughs and I forget how many children are on antibiotics!!!

I also wish I had time to tell you about our adventures to the villages yesterday however I’m gonna let Els do that, check out Amecets blog: http://amecet-soroti.blogspot.com/

Once again i'm sure i've forgotten to tell you so much stuff, maybe i need to write more often, then my posts wouldn't be so long!!! And please continue to pray for all of our children and al the aunties who are dedicated to okoing after them!

That one is my prayer

Jesus,

Give me grace, give me Wisdom, give me love unfailing
Open my eyes to give and not grieve
To seek without ceasing
To serve without payment
 
Free my heart to strive and not stumble
To fly without falling
To release, not from repentance and free form resentment

Hallelujah my king my lord and my saviour,

 My comfort and shelter, protector triumphant
 
Teach me your ways Lord,
To shine in the darkness, to hear from your greatness, to see without judgement and speak fourth the kingdom.

It's all an adventure!!!

This week a few of us took an adventure up Soroti rock, it wasn’t as hard to climb as we’d expected, it only took 1 hour from leaving Amecet (at 7 am) but it was a lot of fun, when we reached the top we didn’t encounter ghosts or snakes like we were warned about, however we did meet some breath taking views! Despite how easy it seemed, there was some pain along the way (Yay for my feet growing this year and my shoes giving me blisters) ad we did feel that we deserved the treat of ice cream when we’d finished!
 

Now you might be thinking Durrrr life’s an adventure for you, NEWSFLASH you’re in Africa idiot. But I was thinking last night about how even everyday things are an adventure!!!

As I mentioned in my last couple of blogs, our awesome toddlers are all on their feet, we now spend endless hours chasing them around the compound! Those of you who are parents or older siblings will know the excitement and worry that comes from walking toddlers! This week rose decided that she likes the slide, now we don’t have one of those little kids plastic slide and there’s no soft ground if you fall off. This week I’ve anxiously watched Rose climb the steps and panic as she comes to the top and doesn’t know how to make it onto the ledge at the top, as she practiced more and more she was able to do it. For her it was an adventure, that slide was her rock and she was determined, I sat and watched her and panicked every time she wobbled almost waiting for her to fall (funny how we always expect the child to fall rather than make it?)

 

I think life is like that rock of that slide, when a door is opened we walk through it, despite the pain we are aiming for the success, and sometimes we aren’t aware of or ignore the dangers so that we can make it. At the end of the day in both these situations I knew that even if an accident happened, it wasn’t going to be life or death (unless those snakes on the rock were poisonous) despite the pain and the fears we make it to the ice cream or bottom of the slide.

 

Ever thought of God as the Auntie (well uncle) or Parent watching you struggle with the slide? Ever wondered why he didn’t come and carry you? If I had gone running to Rose every time she panicked on the slide she never would have learnt herslef. I was watching her and I was ready to catch her and give her medical attention if she fell but I also had to trust her and believe in her, I knew she could make it even if she didn’t. Sound like God yet????? Many times we wonder where God is, why we aren’t flying on his wings, but he’s there ready to catch us when we fall, when you don’t notice him, it’s because you didn’t fall, we should be thankful rather than angry really!!! He was believing in us!

Many times this year I’ve felt like I’m walking into the unknown, I don’t know where I’m going, I don’t know what’s at the top of the rock or even if I’ll make it, I’ve been scared to step onto the ledge at the top of the slide because I don’t know that it’s safe and whether I’ll wobble and fall, how many things have you failed to step out do due to fear??? I’ve been reading ‘Making Jesus Lord’ By Lorren Cunningham, he talks about laying down your rights, now you might think I’ve done that, I left the comfort of my own home, culture, comforts and language and came to a foreign and different land, however you can travel and still hold onto almost everything. Laying down your rights is the ultimate test of your sense of adventure and trust that God is the loving parent watching over you. I realised I have to lay down my right to be afraid, because fear stops me doing things, it is a barrier, stopping God calling me into places I don’t want to go. Fear is me holding onto my plans instead of following Gods adventure!

Now I’m not saying this because I’ve got it all sussed, I’m not ready to walk in front of the firing squad,  I’m challenging myself, and I’m asking you to join me in the climbing the mountain to lay down your rights, because with every step we take; our burden becomes lighter, our God provides our strength and we get to see God using us in amazing ways!!!! I CAN DO ALL THINGS IN CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH. (I just have to let him!)

There’s a plan and a bigger picture, Jeremiah 29:11!!! “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, not for disaster but for hope and a good future.”

The world tells us we have to make the plans, God tells us he already has, which path do you want to take? What’s holding you back?

 

We can make our own plans

But the Lord gives the right answer

People may be pure in their own eyes

                But the Lord examines their motives

Commit your actions to the Lord

                And your plans will succeed.

And for those of you who read my last post.... We survived the night shift, the kids with Malaria recovered quickly, I even managed to make porridge, and get the kids dressed, medicined up and ready for school on time, PTL!!!!