A bit of a catch up

So the last week or so has been busy and exciting.

Kids wise they are progressing so much, Rose is standing by herslef lots not and  is even taking a few steps here and there, Rafael has finally made it to standing solo and Nelson is the happiest little boy!
The toddlers all love the swings and often will crawl of of the veranda over to the swings to give us the hint that they wanna swing- the beauty of swing is that often the kids smile and laugh and then fall asleep! rather than be cared for,
In the last blog i told you a little about Apio Ruth, she is doing so well, sitting without support, eating proper food at meal times, the other day she drove me crazy. Every mouth full she would shake her head viciously, then when i fnly got the food in her mouth she would put her hand into her mouth pull the rice out, look at me smile and then drop the rice on the floor!!! I've never seen so much rice all over her- however although she annoyed me, i was also incredibly proud of her fighting, it shows her growing up and taking initiative, being cheaky is massive because it shows so much brain development!

We have a new boy, he is very weak and very sick, he has HIV and TB and wasn't being looked after, we are really praying that he grows and gets strong while he is with us so he can return to his uncles. We also have 2 new babies, i don't know if i told you about Benna and Sarah, they are both too cute! They are doing really well! Unfortunatly we found out this week that one of the babies we have is probably deaf and blind- this is major, it is also scary, children here are often expected to be the carers not cared for, this little boys will need lots of time and money, his futuer is scary and he ned lots of praying for! Another sad note, is that one of the babies who went home 3 weeks ago has died, little patrick had malaria and wasn't given medicine, it's sad but it is the reality for many babies, medicine is money so they just don't get helped the way they need to be!

On a happier note, i spent the weekend back in Jinja it was good to see the girls and rest hve a screaming/crying free weekend, Friday night was fin night on the base, Me, Tss and Naomi did a tongan dance i learnt 30 mins before and had done twice, it was pretty funny, i guess i realised that beng at Amecet i had started to run on grown up sensible mode ( i didn't think i had one) so crazy dancing was a breath of fresh air! I'd missed the girls lots, but i also missed the children while i was away! The cries of "Auntie, Aunite" as i walked throug Amecets gates made me pleased to be back!

And now, i'm working a night shift, we had 2 children with malaria, lots of babies who don't want to sleep and 3 white girls who don't know how to mke porrige! I'll let you know how it goes!

A love i don't deserve

Boom.
As i was reading this is 2 Timothy 2:11-13, all i thought was BOOM!
Sometmes i think i've got it all figured out, i understand it, somehow i've made sense of it and then BOOM. i realise actually i don't get it at all....

For some of you, you will have been asked to imagine your whole life, everything you've done wrong, every thought, action, word being played in the movie of your life, and everytime you CRINGE! If judgement really was like this i would never want to die. The truth is we've all messed up and done stuff wrong, and if the people around us new everything we had done wrong friendships, families and relationships would probably  be very different. At least i don't think i would choose to be friends with myslef. But the truth is even without a movie of my life, God knows it ALL, and if there is one person that will never leave us it's him, now try and make sense of that!

But not only does he continue to love us, he continues to forgive us...
"A thousand times i've failed still your mercy remains, should i stumble again still i'm caught in your grace...."

Have you ever been really mad at yourslef? When you do something stupid, you weren't thinking, you just got caught up in it all? Sometimes it can be realy hard to forgive yourself. But God forgives us freely, unconditionally and eternally, he doesn't sit there are think hummmm nahh i don't think i want to forgive you this time, or well maybe you just went too far today. He forgives us over and over and over again. And the reason that he can do this is becuse he sent his son to die, for me, for you, for every person who ever walks this earth, he paid the price. How someone tell me how that is fair or how it makes sense?
It doesn't. But it happened, because God loves us that much.

We've all messed up and done stuff wrong, which means we can't go looking the creator of the universe in the face for every long...

I don't understand it, sometimes i find it hard to accept it, if i've let myslef down, i sure have let God down, and i don't want to face that. But the truth is i can beat myself up about it or i can let it go and experience the truth and the freedom that comes from the mystery, and it comes with 2 small words... I'm Sorry.

38 hours and 3 hours sleep!

The last couple of days has really been about a reality that i think unless you see it, it's so easy to deny....

So, on Saturday I was working the night shift, this means that I had the day to relax and do nothing until 6pm, so I was lying in bed writing some e-mails when Rachel  comes and asks if I want to go with them to the villages (4 of the children were being taken to visit their families) at first I said no, because I didn’t want to miss out on lying in bed. But as I thought about it I was like, “really you’re gonna miss out on this because you’re lazy? How many times in your life are you gonna get to go to remote African villages?” So I grabbed my bag and ran out of the door.

Funny how being lazy can stop us from so many opportunities!

It was amazing to see the kids re-united with their families, they were all so excited to get to spend a few hours with uncles, grandparents and siblings! It also bought the harsh reality about where these kids come from though, we drove down dirt ‘roads’ ( more like footpaths) which were miles from anywhere and would take the families hours to walk to markets or main roads, and when we got there the house? Well a mud hut with a grass roof was what me us as most of the houses, but the kids didn’t care about that, it was home and that’s what was important!

As we were travelling we were asked if we could go and visit another house because there was a baby that they thought we could help. We arrived at the house, it was smaller than my bedroom and home to 9 people, lying on a mat by the door was a skeleton. Well actually it was the mother, she was dying of AIDS because she had stopped taking her ARVs (Medicines which help maintain your immune system) she really was nothing more than skin and bones, most of the time she was unconscious and she had no awareness of anything that was going on around her, her husband had also died of HIV and 8 children were left to look after themselves. In situations like this the oldest girl becomes responsible for caring for the family, in this case she was 14. She had not been in school for over a year because she was caring for the mother, baby and the other 6 children (2 of which were older boys) She was exhausted! The children, neighbours and grandfather agreed that it was best if we bought the baby (Nelson) who was 1year and 4 months old, to Amecet at least for a few months, this would enable the daughter to care only for the mother and bring her some peace and relief, when (and I say this because it seems inevitable) the mother dies, the children will receive support from other families who will help care for them, but unfortunately while the mother is still alive the children must struggle on alone!

We made the journey back to Amecet with a frightened Nelson (who had probably never been in a car before) 2 excited children and 2 chickens (presents from their families) John’s grandmother had been so excited to see him and was so grateful that we had taken him to visit, it was a beautiful, yet short time but it was amazing to be part of that experience!

After that long day I proceeded with the night shift! Nelson had a fever of 40.2 which is very high and we were preparing ourselves for a long night! Luckily it was pretty quiet and power was there however I dionly got 3 hours of no contiunous sleep and so I was exhausted I lay in bed on Sunday morning unable to turn my brain off! I was lying in bed thinking about magic stars, jam doughnuets, cheese toasties and mac and cheese! Things I still have to wait 3 months to eat! And as I lay there I thought wow mothers really do have it hard! They go through the sleepless nights having o get up every 3 hours to feed screaming babies and they have over 9 months of not eating certain foods and getting weird cravings, so I guess it’s something like how I’ve been feeling and mannn it sucks! Sorry mothers!

At 3 I headed back to work and even though I was extremely tired it was an amazing afternoon! Rose managed not only to stand up by herself but also to take her first (and only) step towards me! I was so excited and so proud of her! Rafael also stood by himself for a few seconds and Apio is starting to sit by herself and hold her cup! We also had the new shape sorter out and Rose really worked out the cylinder shape and both children loved clapping when they got one in, I was really enjoying my time until Charles bit me! Now all of these children are underdeveloped and should have started doing these things months ago, but we finally have hope that they will make it! Nelson was tested positive for Malaria and had to go on a drip which meant he was stuck in a chair for most of the day!

We had a crazy worship session after dinner which is always an amazing time! The kids were all singing, dancing and going crazy Rose and Apio were clapping along and even Nelson was out with a smile on his face!

After dinner Nelson had to go back on the drip and... it wasn’t working, nothing seemed wrong but the IV wasn’t flowing properly, there is a doctors surgery next door and we managed to get one of the doctors over to insert a new catheter, I could feel the boys pain but on the second try  it was successful and the IV worked fine! Nelson is now so much better and has been walking around with the stroller and really loves the swing!

It amazing how if you put time and love into a child they can really progress, it makes me wonder why even more isn’t being done to help them, how much is a child’s life and progress worth?

By Monday night I was certainly ready for bed, with a lot to think about!!!

p.s I still haven’t caught up on sleep and so if this makes no sense sorry! And I’m sure I’ve misses something!

It's the small things that make life so spectacular

This past week the children have been so beautiful, it’s blown me away to see such gentle, caring and loving hearts from these kids in so many situations.

On Saturdays the older children go to a HIV/AIDS support group, for going each child receives 5,000 shillings (which is a decent amount of money) to pay for transport and a snack, so Auntie Els buys all the children Soda afterwards. This weekend and lunch time both me a Rachelle were told by the children to go and get cups and they each poured a some of their coke into our cups until we had a full cup each! Now 1. As a 6 or even 12 year old I wouldn’t have thought about sharing my drink with an adult and 2. If I got a treat once a week I wouldn’t want to spare any of it! But these children willing shared out of loving hearts!

In the past couple of weeks a few more westerners has arrived on base and we have been trying to work more with Apio, she has experienced extreme trauma, neglect and abuse, and as a result is so underdeveloped, where other children her age are starting to walk she cant even sit! However this week she not only managed to sit on her own for a little bit, she also started to use her arms to pull herself up, and even by herself from a half lying down position she managed to sit up all by herself! This is so much progress because she is so weak and previously would just be propped up in a chair! This week she even took her cup from my hands and tried to feed herself although she wasn’t strong enough to old her cup for a long time her determination to progress and the smile on her face when she succeeded was nothing short of beautiful!

We’ve also been trying to get the kids off the veranda more and so we’ve played in the swings and on the trampoline lots this week. However Rose went from peacefully sleeping in the swing to projectile vomiting! I had to lift her out of the swing, getting vomit over me and the take her and wash her off which was easier said than done due to the lack of water. Now that doesn’t sound like a spectacular event, but for me it said a lot, these children are innocent and helpless, and the work here shows caring hearts off the Aunties who clean up vomit, diarrhoea, and work their butt off for these children. There’s such a beauty in the way that God breaks your heart for what breaks his! 

Us girls had a nail painting sesh! They were so excited by a small thing, that made them feel spectacular! We had hour of fun choosing the colours, painting, decorating their nails and stopping Rafael eating the bottles of nail polish! The children weren’t bothered about perfection, they were just excited about having something that was them, that was individual and they could be proud of! Something I feel like we’ve lost, it’s all about perfection and opinions for us in the west, we almost stopped caring about our own dreams!

The outward beauty of the children was shown by a massive photo taking morning, which was so much fun as we thought of lots of crazy poses and generally loved on each other!

Yesterday Julius (one of the babies) got to go home, to his young, widowed, innocent father who clearly didn’t have a clue how the look after a baby! This boy has the opportunity to bring joy and healing to his father’s life, but he’s gonna need a lot of prayer that his father has wisdom and help in bringing him up!

In other news, 2 very important girls have entered and re-entered my life this week, Rachelle (Rachel) is my new room-mate, she is Dutch but her English is amazing and we’ve already spent a lots of time laughing and getting sunburnt! She’s already thrown up all over the floor, so she sure is my type of girl! Haha! Double trouble were reunited this week and Becca arrived in Soroti, our team work has already gone to use and we have the kids making a wall display of Noah’s Ark!

Becca and Beatrice enjoyed stabbing my toe with a needle to see how many different liquids they could get out of it! (No I don’t know what I’ve done, but it hurts and is red and swollen right next to my nail, any ideas?)

And I was awake for a while last night chasing the world’s biggest mosquito round my net, I haven’t worked out their role in making life spectacular yet! However I am now fully recovered from my Malaria, Thank you for your prayers.